A week ago, I had a dream in which I was digging for gold. I sank the shovel into the soil and dug until the metal hit the wooden box. Finally, after throwing away the last pile of dirt to the side, I looked back at the spot beneath me, only to find it filled once again. With a brief sigh, I squared my shoulders and started shoveling all over again. And again… and again.
There’s so much to learn!
I’ve officially finished my first official month as a teacher for the Department of Education of New York. In the last four weeks, I many mistakes and failed many…many times. It has been a roller-coaster of emotions all around, from adjusting to a new work-culture to managing and building working relationships, writing lesson plans, and preparing for anxiety enduring observations. And I must say, I underestimated the among of work I would end up taking home.
I came into this career, hoping to be an advocate, and I’ve already encountered opportunities to advocate for my students. On the same token, I have already met rock blocks, and it seems like the only way to learn is the process of failing miserably.
Thus my dream, I think it was a metaphor for how I’ve been feeling lately. As a first-year teacher, I had days when I felt like I was trying to take on too much all at once, but the desire to do my best for my students makes me feel guilty when I can’t perform or achieve what’s needed to help them succeed.
Defining Equity 
Stephany,
Have you ever read any Brene Brown? She writes about failure being a launchpad for our own greatness. I am hopeful that when you look back on this experience, you will see how all of this stumbling around allowed you to find yourself as an educator. What matters right now is that you are trying. What matters right now is that you are seeing the humanity of your students and the need to advocate for them. You wil learn how to design responsive and compelling curriculum and write accessible lessons. You will learn how to manage your time and balance work and life. Take a breath. Be kind to yourself. Remember that you are learning and you can’t be expected to get everything right. Remember that there is no “right” way. And, for as much as you are seeing all of the failures, use those as learning moments and also pay attention to your successes. Celebrate your victories.
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